Are You a Parentless Parent?
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- March
- 21
No matter how old you are, I think you always miss your Mom. Mine died ten years ago and the pain is just as great now as it was then. Yes, time makes it easier, but what makes it harder is actually being a parent. I’m constantly reminded that I have no one “above me” who KNEW me as a kid to ask what I was like at that age and what advice I can glean. (My dad has Alzheimer’s.)
Which is why I was so happy to hear about the newly-formed Parentless Parents group. The group is an organic offshoot of the book, Always Too Soon: Voices of Support for Those Who Lost Both Parents, which was written by local (Irvington) author Allison Gilbert.
Allison—who has two children of her own—told me how inspiring the support has been. People she’s met at book signings and through emails have been so touched by her words of inspiration (the book is an intimate collection of interviews with celebrities and others about the emotional impact of losing both parents) that she’s already held one informal support group (at her house) to discuss the challenges of raising children without the benefit and support of one’s parents. And judging from the traffic to her website and the amount of correspondence she’s gotten so far, this has the potential to become a national organization.
I’ll be at the next meeting on Thursday, May 3rd. In the meantime, if you want to learn more about Gilbert’s book or how to join Parentless Parents, visit her website.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, March 21st, 2007 at 1:03 pm by Jeanne Muchnick.
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my dad passed away almost 17 years ago. he was 59, i was 25. he died 2 days after my birthday and 2 days before my mom’s.
He never saw me get married or have children. It sux , i think about it then i move forward. it breaks me down then i build myself up. Now my mom who is 75 is having a bad time after a surprise illness. we take it a day at a time.
That will be me someday. I’m half-way there as my mother died a few months ago, and, I have young children.
I had lost both of my parents by age 30. Shortly after my father died (last remaining parent) I got married. The wedding was wonderful, my dream wedding. But after everything was all said and done, we are on to trying to conceive. Now I miss my mother more than I could imagine and feel so alone. I wonder and fear, how will I cope with pregnancy when I don’t have that daily parental call, asking me how I’m doing, what’s going on with my life, and what’s new. I often times feel like I have the world on my shoulders. Kris
Having lost both parents at the age of 15, I truly understand the void that is felt on a daily basis. I have learned to accept the loss and move forward with my life. As we all know the loss of a parent can be debilitating at times; and when we realize that the pain we feel does not kill us, we move on. We need to treasure each and every day in order to honor their lives. They may have died , but they will never leave us.
This is all still very new to me. My mother died 14 years ago after a long battle with breast cancer at the age of 64. My father just passed away 4 days ago, at the age of 81, with prostate cancer and a myriad of other health issues. I have such an unexpected and peculiar feeling of loss because they are both gone now. I am beginning to sort through some of this, but it is a lot to think about.
like Marnie I am still very new at being parentless. Both parents died last year and parts of me are still so very numb. Each new day brings about the realization of the great losses. I do not find it easier
My mom passed away about a week and a half ago. Today would’ve been her 64th birthday. My father died in 1989 from brain cancer. My husband died 3 years ago due to renal failure. I’m about to turn 33 years old. I have a 2-year-old son.
My mom and I weren’t close for the last 10 years of her life, but I had just realized how much I liked to be able to call her up and say “My son’s doing this… did I do that when I was little?”
There’s no one left to ask. It feels so lonely – like I’m flying solo on something I shouldn’t be.
Today, to commemorate her birthday, we had her favorite meal. Chinese takeout.