I’ve been debating about what to blog about…so many things going on…so many things to report on. So many balls in the air, that suddenly, for whatever reason, are starting to fall down on me….
I was debating about writing about how I need a wife…I just feel super stretched. Though both my husband and I work it seems to be ME who always worries about what’s for dinner, who has clean clothes (why do the girls ALWAYS want what’s in the wash?) and the kids’ plans. Though my husband is better than most when it comes to helping out (the dog is HIS!), the reality is: I do more. In general, men leave the house and lock the door. Women, on the other hand, walk out and worry about how the house looks — mine’s always a mess — and whether the kids have playdates or if there’s fresh milk in the fridge.
I’m so stressed that I managed to get myself into a fender bender last night — that was my fault! I know I was trying too hard to please everyone — poor Syd is bored (all her friends are in Europe!!!) and while I worked, she spent the entire day home alone, so I promised that after work (after a deadline-crazed/email-filled/stressful day) that I would take her back to school shopping when it was honestly the last thing in the world I wanted to do. We got into a fight in American Eagle (she didn’t like any of the clothes I picked out and she says I “embarrassed” her) – and the next thing I knew, I was backing up into the fender of another car.
It wasn’t horrible — but after the root canal bills I’ve had this month (another fun thing to add to What I did this summer) not to mention the defensive driving course I took ALL day Sunday and the $125 ticket I recently had to pay (I swear: it’s mostly mothers who get speeding tickets because we’re trying to do for everyone and get them there on time), knowing that I might have to shell out MORE money for an accident put me deeper in the hole. In other words, I was in one SHITTY mood.
All of which leads to what’s GOOD about being an adult: I was so frazzled, I came home and dished up two huge scoops of ice cream for dinner. Syd, on the other hand, had soup. Thank god for canned food since Mark came home from work just as he left: with seemingly no worries. (Though, thanks to Mark for not yelling at me when he saw the car.)
Sorry. Am ranting today. But it’s been one of those months….just feel sometimes that I’m better at my job than I am at being a wife and mother..and that makes me upset..because it’s myÃ‚Â job that stresses me out (or that I allow to stress me out) which in turn, makes me lash out at my family. It’s days like this, I wish I could move to a part of the country that was more laid-back. Heck, at this point, I don’t think scooping ice cream would be all bad…if it paid the bills. At least I could leave my work at work and go home and deal with home without the added aggravation.