How Happy Are You?
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- October
- 1
There’s a growing happiness gap between men and women. According to new research, men have gradually cut back on activities they find unpleasant. They new work less and relax more.
Women, on the other hand, have replaced housework with paid work—- and as a result are spending almost as much time doing things they don’t enjoy as in the past. In other words, we’re spending more time on paid work and less on cooking and cleaning.
I don’t need research to tell me that. I’ve said this before and will say it again: my husband gets up, goes to work and unless I really bug him—comes home sans stopping at CVS, Stop and Shop and the dry-cleaners. I, on the other hand not only do errands after work, on my lunch break and before work, I’m also the one remembering to stop at Staples because Syd needs White-Out or rushing home to throw laundry in because Corey needs a certain shirt for tomorrow’s gym class. I’m also the one worrying about how messy the house is (his parents officially think I’m a slob); what we have in the house for breakfast/lunch/dinner that’s not frozen or pre-packaged, as well as who needs to be carpooled where.
So am I happier than him? What do YOU think?
This entry was posted
on Monday, October 1st, 2007 at 1:28 pm by Jeanne Muchnick.
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To quote a movie: “what we have here is a failure to communicate”
If you don’t ask then it doesn’t get done. If you ask and it doesn’t get done, then you need to sit and talk and make out a plan. It all needs to be fair.
I’m with you, Jeanne. Just last night, while my husband watched TV with the kids, I was storming around the house murmering, “Why am I the only one who will throw out food that is rotting in the refrigerator? Why why don’t you people wipe counters?” My husband was beckoning to watch TV with him, but I had loads of laundry that needed folding. A mature talk about it? Ha! Been there, done that, feel even worse when it gets me nowhere. There’s hope for making the kids helpful-
I am making good progress-but not the grown man.He’s being a jerk. I have grocery / dinner duties and also do the dry-cleaning runs. But here’s something I can’t figure out: last night around 11 o’clock I was sneaking in a few minutes of the baseball game before going to bed and my wife was cleaning the bathtub. We call ourselves Crazy and Lazy.
I don’t think the guys mean to be jerks. I think they honestly don’t care if there’s food rotting in the fridge, or the household is out of Clearosil wipes, or the kid gets points off for being out of White-Off when she should have spoken up three weeks earlier. When I got married my fiance and I talked out who would do which chores. Laundry was one of his. When it mounted uncontrollably, it didn’t bother him a bit but it was driving me nuts, so I took it on—and haven’t been able to give it back since. It’s a matter of priorities, and we gals just wish the guys shared ours!
There is a saying I have heard of late:”nothing changes of nothing changes” “As long as,whoever takes on the burden and gets stuck in it,well reaad above. D
the word”if” not of
And if i were to say that its my wife that lets the food rot and i throw it out. that would be so male of me right?
Specially when i am not home for a week or so because i am out of town. i’ll go through the fridge and chuck the bad stuff. because my wife doesnt look. But yeah i forgot guys arent supposed rrant about this part.
sounds like we all have lots of passive-aggressive behaviors going on –
when I went back to school in the middle 90s my husband learned to cook or he’d starve, and he did and did it well; he also learned to do laundry
life is so busy everyday with kids, work, aging parents, sickness, whatever that I learned to write lists, and lists on lists of things to do for the house maintenance, daily, issues to think about and eventually they get done, by everyone in the house
I used to do it all, the cleaning, the worry, driving the kids, then I stopped and guess what, everyone else started
I don’t do anyone’s laundry but my own, havent for years and my kids learned to wash and iron and if they ruined their clothes they had to pay for new ones – it’s a constant battle, but in the whole scheme of priorities of life, it’s meaningless
I am not the one anymore to worry about the grunge in the fridge, or folding the clothes – somehow that role was reassigned when I gave it up
as you say, nothing changes unless we change